grasya's journal

26th Birthday

I'm turning 26 in 3 days, goodness! I can still remember what mom said when I was still her sweet (and innocent?) little Maria Gracia..."Study hard...and oh, don't get married till you're 25+, ok?" Well, her wish came true! (not the "study hard" part, though. LOL!)

Anyways, this year's super special...the first of my birthdays I'll be celebrating with someone so dear to me, my "new" bestfriend, the love of my life, the greatest birthday gift I've ever received...

    MY BABY.   

   and I couldn't ask for more...

I'm turning 26 in 3 days, goodness! I can still remember what mom said when I was still her sweet (and innocent?) little Maria Gracia..."Study hard...and oh, don't get married till you're 25+, ok?" Well, her wish came true! (not the "study hard" part, though. LOL!)

Anyways, this year's super special...the first of my birthdays I'll be celebrating with someone so dear to me, my "new" bestfriend, the love of my life, the greatest birthday gift I've ever received...

    MY BABY.   

   and I couldn't ask for more...

Moving on...

I keep on telling myself it’s over and things can’t be undone but I guess I need to miss someone so badly for me to realize the gravity of what has happened. I didn’t know how painful it was til I felt lonely that I wanted to talk to someone who knows me inside out. With this person I don’t have to explain everything because we can communicate even without words. Love makes us do so. It’s the universal language that everyone is gifted with. I’ve told everyone I’ve moved on but I never mentioned how painful it had been knowing there were some things and "someone" I left behind. Memories remain but I can’t live with them for the rest of my life. Oh, life is sometimes unbearable.

I want a new cellphone...badly!

I want a new cellphone and it breaks my heart not having much money to have a new one. Actually, I have another option, I can use my credit cards BUT I don’t think that’s a good idea since I’m STILL paying for the cellphone I bought a year ago. I was almost at the point of death when I found out it was stolen in our house. Imagine? I LOCKED it in a cabinet because I have an odd working schedule (2-11pm) and going home alone with a cellphone in my bag or pocket is so dangerous. All my effort were WORTHLESS! I could still remember how I was held-up in a jeepney a couple of years ago. I was in 4^th year college then. I was traumatized that I had to take a cab for the rest of the school year. Anyways, I want a sony ericson P910i or a PDA phone. Pretty expensive, huh! I’m gonna have at least one of them (Yes, Grasya, in your dreams!). Sigh…I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

PS: I might commit suicide after writing this.

*Grasya, you’re such a drama queen! –Hell, yeah!

Feelin' bitchy

I don’t normally feel bitchy so I am all thumbs on how to express this stupid idea into words. Do I need to use my mother tongue to perfectly convey what the hell this is? Nah. Never. They say “If you don’t have anything good to say, just keep your mouth shut.”  They’re so damn right! But of course, I am entitled to my own opinion just like everyone else in this world full of CRAP! Yes, you read it right…crap. Why am I writing this piece of shit? Obviously I don’t feel good tonight, that I am upset with someone whose-name-is-not-important. Well, I’ve got a message for him: “If you think you can mess up with my life, honey, go ahead, but be sure you can make it coz if you don’t, I’ll make your life miserable.”

PS: I’m not like this all the time. Sorry.

Confused...

I couldn’t sleep nowadays...Something (or someone?) is bothering me. I’m not quite sure why I can’t be my normal self, which only happens when I’m in love (and out of love). This can’t be true! No, not now. But what do I do? Maybe I’m just in love with the feeling of being in love and not with someone because the person I am supposed to fall in love with is working abroad and he’s not sure if he can come here this year. If ever he can’t, we’ll have to wait for three more years so we can meet again. By then, I’ll be studying abroad so NO CHANCE AT ALL. Let me put it this way, after almost three long years of being someone’s gf, I believe I deserve some space and time for myself…and my family, as well

. “I’ll say goodbye to love.” –Karen Carpenter.

I'm back!!!

After being away for a good one month, here I am...writing this blog. I had been with people whom I didn't know well and the experience turned out to be one of the greatest and most memorable experience of my life. Staying in a resort on top of a mountain is no big joke. Transportation was our big problem. We had to wait for about 30 minutes for a jeepney and it would take us around 45 minutes just to reach the public market or "bayan". Another difficulty is our meals.We had to bear with Korean food each single day of our stay there, Imagine! FYI, Korean Cuisine is TOO hot and TOO spicy! I used to be fond of hot and spicy food but I guess it would take time before I eat those food again. (sigh!) Anyway, I had a lot of fun. I worked with good teachers and had not much problems being the head teacher. Ang sarap nila kasama, there were no dull moments in the camp, lahat masaya, maingay...I miss them na nga. We had mini "graduation" for the two groups of Korean students. Bittersweet. Sa una masaya and pagdating ng time to say goodbye...we all cried. masyado na kasing attached sa'min ang mga bata, eh! Kasi naman pagkagising pa lang sa umaga hangang sa pagswimming sa gabi kasama namin sila...Oh well, a line from a song goes like this "Life is touch and go, or hit and run..." so true. Life must go on. I just hope I'll see them again in winter camp.

Goodness Gracious!

I intend to be “kind” this week…Geez, I’ve been drinking a lot lately (with Angge, my drinking buddy; jack, my ever-loyal officemate; and Page, Angge and Jack’s friend). I’m lucky ‘coz my mom and my dad didn’t get mad at me. In fact, we held our drinking sessions in our house (astig!) and Jack would always end up sleeping over since it would be dangerous for her to commute all the way to Caloocan. Not that my parents are tolerating me or whatever you may call it, they just want me to have fun. You see, they were very strict when I was still studying but the tide changed after I started working. I’ve earned their trust that’s why. So NO alcohol for me this week (sigh). Warning: I may not be my normal self in the coming days.

To someone...I hope you read this.

                  I love you, friend...

What do I do to let you know how I feel?

I’m in love with you, I want you so near.

But how, when you think I’m just a friend,

Just like your little sister? It hurts like hell!

In silence, my dear, I’ve been waiting in vain,

When I finally met you, I was in heaven but in pain

I wanted to kiss you, let you know that I love you,

But no, I couldn’t, ‘coz fate wouldn’t let me to.

Now that you’re so far and out of reach,

Nothing to do but dream, and to keep on dreamin’

That one day you’d come back, my hands, you’ll take

Then say, “Marry me. My wife you’ll be someday.”

Note: This poem is dedicated to my secret love.

          Written in my office, around 10 pm.

Teacher Grace!

It’s been quite a while since I last blogged my thoughts here. I made do with the fun stuff through answering some questions and then posting the answers (check www.blogthings.com) to let you, guys, feel that I’m just around… I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and it made me feel so bad since I still couldn’t figure out which path I’m going to take. I’m so tied up with my jobs (full and part time) and it seems that I wouldn’t have time to take up some M.A units. I’m already 24 and I couldn’t say that I’ve already established my career as an educator (Education majors/graduates won’t accept that they’re JUST teachers. There is a BIG difference between a teacher and an educator –thanks to Dr. Allan de Guzman, my favorite prof!). I feel insufficient not having an M.A. degree. I believe that a bachelor’s degree is not good enough since there are still so much more to learn. Oh yes, I’ve got the experience, attended trainings and programs to enhance my skills but I know that these are not enough, and they will NEVER be. Does this mean that I’m not contented with what I have? Hell, no! I want my students to learn MORE and I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m aware that I’m working against time but I know it’s worth it. Someday my dream will become a reality. *wink* Right now, all I’ve got to do is work really hard and I’m proud to say that I am and that I’m doing great.

Am I ready to date again?

ANSWER: Yes!

If you're not out there already, you should be.
Your ex is long gone from your heart, and you are ready for another relationship.
Any guy you meet gets a clean slate - and no emotional baggage.
Congratulations, you've gotten completely over him.
Now, on to a better guy :-)

It's time for you to start dating!
Post your photo and profile on a bunch of personals sites.
Before long, you won't have any more lonely Saturday nights.